CAP CLUB

مثف بعؤنهىل لخ كخفاثق بعؤنثقس

 

WAIT FUCK I HAD MY KEYBOARD ON ARABIC HAHA
ANYWAYS . LET GO MOTHERFUCKERS

 

I HAD TO QUIT. I WAS PLAYING MULTIPLE GAMES/DAILY BEFORE MAKING AN ACCOUNT, AND DOING PRETTY GOOD DESPITE NOT RLY HAVING KNOWLEDGE IN OPENINGS OR EVEN HAVING A HISTORY WITH THE GAME, THEN WHEN I MADE AN ACCOUNT AND SAW MY RATING WAS 1200 I THOUGTH OH SHIT IM ACTUALLY GOOD, AND THEN I REALIZED U JUST START OUT THAT HIGH AND EVER SINCE HAVE BEEN SLOWLY DROPPING. ONCE I GOT TO THE 500'S AND REALIZED I WAS STILL LOSING THE MAJORITY OF MY GAMES I DECIDED I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO BARE IT MAKING IT TO THE 400'S, SO I LEFT ON THAT NOTE. I DO REALLY LIKE THE GAME THOUGH AND WOULD REALLY LIKE TO LEARN MORE AND GET BACK INTO IT, BUT MY GOD IS IT EVER STRESSFUL. THE STRESS REALLY GETS TO YOU TOO, PHYSICALLY. I'M USED TO STRESSFUL/HARD GAMES, I'M A 2021 DARK SOULS 3 META PONTIFF PLAYER, BUT CHESS STRESS IS SOMETHING ELSE. I DON'T HANDLE STRESS WELL. BUT I'M DOING THESE ONLINE WORKSHOPS RN ON ZOOM AND WE'RE GOING OVER STRESS MANAGEMENT NEXT WEEK SO WE'LL SEE HOW THAT GOES. I HOPE IT GOES WELL, BUT THEN AGAIN WE'RE ONLY GETTING LIKE 2 HOURS-ISH ON THAT SUBJECT, WHICH I FEEL IS ENOUGH TIME TO INTRODUCE THE SUBJECT BUT NOT RLY ENOUGH TIME TO FIX MY ISSUES WITH STRESS OR ANYTHING. BUT I'M ALSO GETTING SET UP WITH FREE COUNSELING SO MAYBE ONCE MY STRESS AND DEPRESSION IS CURED I'LL BE MORE FORGIVING ON MYSELF WHEN I MAKE GENUINE MISTAKES IN CHESS INSTEAD OF IMMEDIATELY THINKING I'M THE DUMBEST FUCKING PERSON TO HAVE EVER LIVED.

 

I REALLY HOPE YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF YOUR STRESS ISSUES MAN KEEP DOING YOU AND YOU'LL GET OUT OF IT HOPEFULLY.