Jokes/Puns thread

Make Jokes/Puns

 

Me

 

You

 

Friends are like butt cheeks. No matter how much shit comes between you two, you will always be close.

 

What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.

 

Who's sex and how did my uncle offend him

 

What did one lesbian vampire say to the other?

See you next month.

 

have you ever had sex while camping?
it's fucking intents

what did richard say to rich?
Stop being a DICK

That joke really SUCKED [pun]

Bro you milk that joke more?

Man this joke really slaps

now this joke just BLOWS

 

As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said,

“You know, one would have been enough.”

 

Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.

 

I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought...

“That’s just spam.”

 

An Irishman walks out of a bar.

 

"What are the three rings of marriage?"
"The engagement ring"
"The wedding ring"
"And the suffer ring"

 

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space.

 

Why couldn't the kid prodigy of poker see anything?
Because he was the little blind.

 

What do you call a mexican who lost his car?
Carlos

 

What do you call a cow with no legs.
Ground beef

 

i sharted

 

You had one job.

 

Jeez sorry for not looking through the comments and not realizing someone else already said the joke.