I don't really know how to start this...

For the people that have never seen me before around the servers or heard what I did, to sum it up, I pretended to have bone cancer, and faked my own death for reasons that have been lost within my memory due in part to me trying to forget the whole thing like a dream. Or nightmare. I really bought into the lie and went with it for quite some time actually, increasingly feeling bad about it whether I admitted it or not. Of course, I now know the horrible unforgivable and quite distasteful thing that I did to this community and what true emotions that I brought upon the members. So this is why I am here. Mainly to say that I am sorry. I am truly, unmistakably from the bottom and everywhere of my heart sorry for what I have done. I regretted it since the day I left, especially because I got found out in such another stupid act. So very embarrassing and shaming that it, in fact, truly shaped my personality for the better and gave me a life lesson aka don't be an ignorant dumbass. I feel as if, if not only for the sake of the community, regardless if people have forgotten about me for the most part, but for my own heart's sake, that I need to make it up to you guys, or even not end on such a sour note. That wasn't me saying that I'm doing it for me by the way, rather that I couldn't live with such a horrible thing to do for such an amazing community. So, I would like to make a comeback into the servers and in the community as a whole to better my own image in pride and to better the community in service. Even after I had left I still occasionally checked up on the forums here, some of you have already noticed that a couple of times. But a while ago I realized that that was because that I still cared about the community. I still wanted to be a part of it, whether you guys will accept me or not. I'm not sure if the poll will sway my actions entirely but it would be nice to have some feedback on your guys' opinions. I do believe in giving second chances and feel it worthwhile to give me another. I truly do regret what I have done not but a few months ago.

 

The older players will know what you did and it will be hard for them to accept you into this community.

The newer players will only have the story of what you did to go off of.

You're either going to be forgiven and fit in, or spend the rest of your time here shut out.

Good luck.

 

As somebody who's only heard of these events and wasn't there for them I can only say this much.

I'm a firm believer of second chances. I even know of people that have received second chances at being a part of the community once again despite past mistakes. But I personally believe that with all you've said and how you've phrased your apology that you aren't 100% truthful to the people you lied to, particularly what bothers me is this:

I know you're saying that you wish to be a part of this community again because like you, I see the joy that it brings to me and to many others as a second life of sorts. But if you truly feel like you want to be accepted again despite what you did and expect to be trusted here again. I don't think it's too far out of the question to explain to those you lied to why you would lie for something like that in the first place. Maybe you really don't remember, but I myself don't feel like that part is completely genuine. If you wish to be trusted again you need to be upfront about everything from now on. I'm glad you're at least trying to own up for your actions, but this is a case where you're going to need to start being completely truthful to this community in order to gain some respect and some friends again. But I can say this as well. Welcome back for now Lord.

 

You have a LOT of making up to do before you can be taken seriously by anyone who was around during the time. Personally, I haven't forgiven you, nor do I feel like I will anytime soon. If you wish you be forgiven, then you have to prove your worth.

I'm not going to write up a paragraph about how you're a bad person, because I'm sure you're already aware of how extremely obnoxious and selfish your actions were. Welcome back to the community, but I cannot guarantee you open arms.

 

I'll be honest, I have no sympathy for you.

I believe in second chances, but you're going to have to work REALLY hard to earn it.
Good luck.

 

I will try to explain that as truthfully as possible, as I truly do have a bad memory in most things that happened over a week ago, especially what I was thinking. I believe why I did it was part, it was very much a dark part in my life as I had dealt with an attempted suicide of someone very dear to me, as well as lots of drama following around that, part that I felt my life was boring and in a twisted way of thinking thought this would excite my life up a bit and admittedly I wanted the spotlight to be on me, again a poor and regretful way to do so. The only other part of reasoning I could put towards my actions was that I actually did want to stop playing the game because I had put in 1k hours and felt as if I was addicted, and somehow in my thought process, figured it wouldn't just work out that I could just say bye and not come back and made this awful ultimatum where I really couldn't come back. I am sorry for not including this in the explanation and realize it should be a vital part of it, I appreciate your words of advice and will be truthful from now on.

 

I find this apology hard to accept because you had a lot of us support you with the whole #ChaosStrong era. Finding out this was false is something we can't take you granted for a second chance. Making up something that is not right to joke about was the worst move you've made so far. This is what we call untrustworthy, especially since we can't take your word for something or believe if its true. There are people who may have cancer or has a family member who has cancer which take this stuff very serious. For now, you're going to work hard on getting our trust and respect back (I'm talking for the people who were part of this movement including myself.) Welcome back, but from me you're gonna have to show me why I should forgive you.

 

I do not know Lord of Chaos but i am not going to judge you based off of other people opinions. I say you can get a second chance and be welcomed back but like others above me said you have to earn it. I reason say this is because Cancer is not a laughing matter and can offend people like Kythol. So to summarize my post, Prove yourself that you have changed and feel remorse through actions.

 

I am a firm believer in second chances. However considering that the terms you left on were falsified, I feel that a chance now is quite questionable, at least for the time being that is. It's not right to joke around with serious matters that happen to people every day and fabricate a story that gained our significant outpouring and mourning. I really hope the words you state are completely truthful. If so, I wish you the utmost luck with gaining back all the trust you lost because of your actions.

See you around on the servers.

 

Honestly, I guessed you were faking it about half way through and never fell for it truely. Especially when a few months back your account was active on the forums.


Although you could have avoided the whole "dying" thing by saying you pulles through but that leads into living a lie..

Eh you'll be fine on the servers, in the nicest way possible, 75% of people won't know who you are in game and wont care either.

Im not going to be negative toward you because frankly your just some wanker on the internet, i dont care if you fake your death or not, you didn't harm anyone physically and anyone who was upset at your "passing" really didn't care because the moment you "left" no one actually mentioned you again (harsh truth).

Although expect a lot of hate from the justice league around here because they clearly cared so much about you once you went (sarcasm)


Dunno where im going with this now, welcome back g.

 

Considering how many people lives have been affected by cancer and you faked your own death by making it some type of joke or game is incredibly fucked up. You should feel guilty for what you've done, and honestly I hope that guilt never goes away for you. Stay here if you really want to I suppose.

 

You were one of my favorite people around. I loved staffing and having you on the servers cause we always had such a good time. I was extremely sad when I read about the whole cancer thing just to find out later that you were lying. I don't appreciate that and it wasn't funny at all. You're fucked up for doing that and honestly I don't forgive you but I'm barely around so meh I don't really care if you're back or not. It will take a lot for me to forgive you though. So good luck with that.

 

I myself believe in second chances, even though i never really played with you i did respect you, though what you did was not good I do not hold personally hold grudges because most of them are useless. in my opinion iI believe shit happens, things happen that we regret doing; however, it is better to just move on and go on. Most people just get stuck on the past it ends up just wasting away time. Welcome back Lord of Chaos, I hope you see you around sometime

 

Generally, I think what you did was absolutely terrible.

I used to like you, and never did I have a single negative impression of you, but after I heard about all this, it all changed. In the end, did it really accomplish anything? I still am trying to figure out myself what you hoped to accomplish by pulling a stunt like that, what was your endgame?

Second chances have been given time and time again in this community, making a thread like this, owning up to what you did, is a start, but by no means an end. Your going to have to work really hard to earn a respectable spot in this community again.

I welcome you back not because I want to, but because I have to.

 

I dont know who you are but I can tell that you said you had something that shouldnt be joked about as i cried myself asleep each night because my grandpa had cancer so it's gonna be hard to see you ingame hearing that you lied about something so serious.

 

Good luck, Lord.

 

I understand why people would say this but to all the people that did, this was not a joke. It was never in any way me trying to be funny, I already explained why I think that I did it, which, in hindsight, led to me having to come back because of the guilt. But I just want everyone to know that it was not a joke and cancer is never anything to joke about. It was a lie, that is all. I would never make a joke like that. I appreciate all of the kinder words to the people that will accept me, and to all of the people speaking their opinions it is appreciated and I understand and recognize that yeah I did a fucked up thing and I screwed up and everything else and-a-half, and I am deeply sorry for it.

 

Welcome back... I joined this community just before you "left" and was amazed to see community come together with the #Chaosstrong mentality, It was actually one of the first things this community did that made me want to stay around. I personally think what you did was wrong but good luck and welcome back.

 

This reasoning is pretty perverse. Honest, but perverse. That's okay, though (well, not really). It's only human. Most people just find other ways to have their needs met (more healthy or private). We all do bad things, I know I've done worse. Oh well, it's all about learning.

Wish you luck, you'll need it.