Write a joke, a random player will get 30,000 points from me and 30,000 from @Mr Butters that comments with an appropriate joke. A random player will be rewarded Nov. 14 2014. Rules- -Nothing Inappropriate (racist, sexist, etc..) -No copying jokes from people that have posted it in the thread before you have -You must post a joke to have a chance to get the 60,000 point Congratulations to @Detective Doge who has won the 60,000 points.
Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!" *Nobody stands up* Teacher: "Im sure there are some stupid students over here!!" *Little Johnny stands up* Teacher: "Ohh, Johnny you think you're stupid?" Little Johnny: "No... i just feel bad that you're standing alone..."
While examining the the body of Mr. Chokesondick, a mortician notices that Chokesondick has the largest penis he has ever seen. "I'm sorry, Mr. Chokesondick," says the mortician, "But I can't send you to be cremated with a tremendously huge penis like this. It has to be saved for posterity." The mortician removes the penis, places it in a jar and puts the jar in his briefcase. When he gets home, he decides to show it to his wife. "I have something to show you that you won't believe," he says, removing the jar from his briefcase. "Oh my God!" she screams, "Chokesondick is dead!"
Here's a little joke my biology teacher told me: What did the biologist say when his sister dropped a beaker on his foot? Spoiler "Ow, Mitosis" hehe edit: forgot spoiler tag :c
What did the orphan get for christmas? Spoiler Nothing! Get it? he's an orphan.. his parents are dead I'm bad at jokes.
So a homeless man walks into a cathedral. He stumbles around the entrance, then, upon seeing the confession booth, immediately walks towards and into it. The Father, seeing the man walk into the booth, enters into the other side and slides the window, awaiting for the man to begin his confession. Nothing happens. The Father lightly coughs, aware that the man is probably a wee bit drunk at least, and might have not realized that the Father was there, waiting for him. Again, nothing happens. The Father, growing impatient, decides to knock to let the man know he is there. Knock, knock. The man replies "Ain't no use knocking mate, this stall don't got any paper neither." ...Did I win?
My black friend asked me if there was a colored printer in the library. I told him it's 2014 and he can use any printer that he wants. I hope this isn't considered racist.
What happens when you mix a penis with a potato...? Spoiler A dictator! (Dick-tater, if you don't get it)
Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
A little girl and her mother are at church when the little girl starts to feel sick. Her mother tells her to go throw up in the bushes behind the church. When the little girl returns, her mother asks her if she threw up. "Yes," the girl says. "But I didn't have to go all the way around the back. There was a box near the front door that said "For the Sick"
Michael : Fuck me if I'm wrong, is your name Hannah? Anna : Nope. Anna : Well I guess we have to fuck. Michael : Yes we should.
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
What do you call a Midget Psychic that escaped from Prison?? Spoiler A small Medium at large. :sneakekkey:
One day in heaven, they decide to only let people in who had a horrible day the day that they met their demise A man approaches the gates of heaven and the gate keeper asks "What happened to you the day that you died?" The man replies "It was horrible, I suspected my wife was cheating on me so I came home from work early, I take the elevator up to my apartment on the 23rd floor of my building. I get inside and I hear strange noises coming from my bedroom, I run in and see nothing, until I look out on my balcony, I see a man hanging by his fingertips off my balcony. I am so enraged I push him off, but he lands in a bush and survives, I then pick up my refrigerator and throw it off my balcony, and that kills him, unfortunately, I had a heart attack and died from lifting the refrigerator." The gatekeeper lets him in. A second man approaches the gate and is met by the gatekeeper who asks the same question; "what happened to you the day you died?" The man replies "It was awful, I was just hanging out in my apartment when I tripped and fell of my balcony, but I was luckily able to grab onto the balcony below me, but some dick comes up and pushes me off, I thought I caught a lucky break, because I survived the fall, but then this asshole throws his refrigerator on me, and I die. The gate keeper chuckles for a moment, and then lets him in. A third man approaches and is asked "What happened the day you died?" The man replies "So get this, Im hiding naked inside a refrigerator..."
One weekend, a husband is in the bathroom shaving when the local kid Bubba he hired to mow his lawn, comes in to pee. The husband slyly looks over and is shocked at how immensely endowed Bubba is. He can't help himself, and asks Bubba what his secret is. "Well," says Bubba, "every night before I climb into bed with a girl, I whack my penis on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!" The husband was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night. So before climbing into bed with his wife, he took out his penis and whacked it three times on the bedpost. His wife, half-asleep, said, "Bubba? Is that you?"
