Sticky Serious talks.

Hello Zyp!

I am absolutely not an expert at this, but I've read a little bit on how to deal with this problem. One thing you can do is to make your parents call a truce! This way your parents might stop fighting and arguing so much. One thing you should know, just like @Bruno pointed out, is that your parents have to accept you for who you are. This fighting is most likely influencing the way they behave. I understand that this is an extremely, extremely difficult situation, and the advice I gave might also be very hard, but I think you have to find a way to make your parents relax! I'm sorry if this sounds dumb, but this is the first time I've helped someone via the Internett.

Hope you figure it out soon!

-Zuko

 

I've never went through a divorce so I can't say really how it is. But I did go through the same phase as you're in at the moment. The Option. Stay strong, put your mind somewhere else other than gaming. Because the older you get, you'll notice that gaming will not be enough anymore.

Something that I didn't see someone else mention, I might be wrong. If they're giving divorce clearly as an option they might take, you shouldn't make there lives harder. So if they lash out at you for some stupid reason, do not react badly. Most adults don't know how to control there choice of words and they can make a small problem look bigger than it actually is which will eventually make it worse.
Divorce is a serious matter and it shouldn't be taken lightly, so during this you should be the mature one of the three.


For other solutions I recommend doing some exercise, it should relax you, give you some self-esteem overall.
Read a book.

No alcohol ( even beer), smoking or caffeine (these will make everything worse, I have first hand experience).

Good luck and hope for the best outcome for you and your family.

 

Hey everyone, just a bit of motivation:

Around 2 months ago I bought a ticket for a festival to wich I wanted to go because some awesome bands were playing. There was one problem though: I was scared of going there because I'm currently dealing with anxiety wich often blocks me from doing stuff that I want to to do. What happend in that case is that I would basically anticipate that festival every 2 days or so wich would make me super nervous, mostly because it was something that was out of my comfort zone.

Fast forward to the day of the festival: I'm feeling a bit nervous, but not too badly, that's until we prepare to leave the house. I'm starting to panic and to itch the back of my ear, I'm also itching the inside of my nose until it starts to bleed, because for some reasons seeing blood instantly relieves my anxiety. Anyway, the moment my dad and I go into the train, my anxiety starts to fade away. Not all of it, but most of it, because the train is more comfy than what I thought it was going to be, I know that might sound stupid but oh well, we arrive to the festival and it is dope, like really fucking great. It's actually tiny, there's only like 15 people watching the first band playing.

Now, what I want you guys to fully understand is that although I may have suffered because of that festival, the outcome was so worth it. People (including myself) tend to allow more space for negative feelings instead of positive ones. When I was anticipating that festival, I would often think about it in a bad way (imagine shitty stuff happening etc..), but telling myself things like "oh shiet this is gonna be great!" or "it doesn't have to go bad!" or even "why shouldn't the train be comfy?" helped me. I'm not saying you should suffer to enjoy good things in life, but that nothing is impossible.

As I previously mentionned in this thread, if you guys want to talk just hit me up, nobody deserves to depressed/anxious etc..

 

For a long time now ive thought about posting here. Its an uncomfortable thing for me to do since I like to keep my personal life out of the community but I do need to tell someone or something.


When I was young I didnt have my father. My mom raised my sister (until she was 7) and myself completely by herself. I think she did a wonderful job at it and i thank her for everything she has done to make me the person i am today. My grandfather came into my life when i was 7. He was and always will be the greatest person in my life. He was the father figure i needed growing up. He taught me how to throw a baseball with accuracy. He taught me just how awesome nascar is. He taught me how to tie a tie and he taught me how to speak and act as a gentleman. He taught me so much more than my mom ever did and i still live to make him proud.


He died in 2013.

Such a long time ago looking back. 5 years and I'm still not able to move on. I visit his grave every day bringing him a new flower making sure his stone is clean and looks beautiful. I stand there just weeping like I had when he passed. I remember after huricane harvey came through and the visit to his grave after coming back. His along with so many others were ruined. I spent so long putting everything back and making sure it was beautiful again and i cried for so long I actually couldnt cry anymore .I was done with picking up and I just say there staring at the stone thinking about him.

Its been only 5 years but it feels like forever. I feel like I cant go on everyday visting his stone and dying all over again . I just want him back . And it fucking kills me bc i know ill never get him back .I would give anything just to be able to say goodbye.

I don't have serious problems like most of the people who post here. But I feel like its time i talk about this. Thank you for reading about my grandfather.

 

Honestly, I can somewhat relate to how you feel. My grandfather was a big part of my life when I was a kid, he was my best friend and he’d bring a smile to my face. I’m sorry for your loss because I know I’ll have to face that soon myself. Just this doesn’t get just sad, you should always know that he cares about you and that he’s always watching over you because he knows he loves you and is happy whenever he sees you visit. Stay strong because he knows you can.

 

It's good you're looking to talk it with someone, it's a step forward.

I only met 1 grandmother, and she died 2 years ago. I didn't really spent that much time with her, since my father always had issues with his family over silly things. And I regret not spending time with her.
I can somehow also relate to your situation, going to school/work I take multiple different routes, which all take some same roads. Now these roads are my friends house, where we hanged out and our school before we went to college. My friend died last Feburary to depression, and every time the bus drives past his house and school I'm reminded of him and usually tear up.

What I'm trying to say, it's normal. In your situation I recommend you try to move on. I know you miss him, I miss my friend too but life keeps going and it won't wait for you. (I know you probably already know this) But i'm telling you it so I can refresh it in your head.

Hope for the best.
- NoX

 

I'm Here If Anyone Wanna Talk

 

Sorry i haven't responded to these. I just didnt know what to say.

Thank you crowned for your nice words. I do hope that he passed being proud of what ive become.


Nox, i actually havent spoke to anyone about my granfather and I. This is the only place where anyone knows anything. However i do know life wont wait for me. It hasnt been a burden on my everyday life, i mean no one even knows i visit him everyday. It's just.... Its hard... I had a camera that he and i used to take pictures with when we went out fishing or camping and I went to look for it the next day after posting here and found it was gone. My grandmother had borrowed it to remember him and my aunt didnt know what it was and she sold it at a garage sale. I have only one picture of him now and memories ofc. God i was so mad at her i wanted to scream but i knew it was an accident and my grandfather wouldnt be happy with me. All i could do is leave. I cried in my car for ehat feals like forever man.

 

Wanna include myself as a person to talk to. Youth leader, councilor, good guy. I'm super unbiased and deal with anything. Feel free to pm or discord message me

 

I love this thread. <3

 

I having a hard day. It's been 2 years since my nany (grandma) died and I'm still dying inside missing her. For the first 5 years of my life I basically was raised by her. She was the most wonderful loving woman in the world. When I ran away from my parents in 2011, my mom moved in with her and my grandpa cause of the divorce (I live in NC And they are in TN). Me and mom stopped speaking and so I stopped talking to nanny. I didnt try and keep in contact with her but once. Shes always had health issues but her body basically jsut...gave up and she went from fine to gone in 3 months. I did get to say goodbye but it was too late, she was so far gone she didnt know what was going on. I fucking hate myself for not at least calling her. I had her cell number and very well couldve called her but was so mad at mom I didnt want her to know anything. 2 years later I'm fine most of the time but the guilt is killing me, and I miss her so much. I'm sitting here at work on break crying and I jsut realized it lol. I only keep in contact with my sister but half the time its jsut a hey how arare you love you goodbye. I hate not having a family anymore.

Sorry for the novel but I needed to get this off my chest

 

Hey. This novel is amazing, and you are too.

For me this hit home because I almost lost my brother because of this shit. I almost lost my mom. I don’t have the greatest relationship with my mom and my dad is an absent father. Only need Christ and the Father. I got my spiritual dad as well, he’s awesome.

You know, forgiveness is a thing that tears that wall down, and builds up a new relationship, to love on that person and it’s the most badass thing to do, that people run away from it, because it’s hard. It’s hard and rewarding. When my mom decided to be a prick and my brother as well. I moved on and I kept in contact with my grandma, and I powered through. Didn’t let my mom control my life, and control my anger. If you have to, scream it at her, and say “I forgive you!!!!” And walk away. Let her see you for the broken being you are. Let the ball roll into her court.

I love you Shell. I’m always here for you. We all are family here, and I aim to be family.

See ya later.

 

i got the alrt....but
<3 you can always message me shell, i think we share some discords. But i completely understand this. I guess the most helpful thing i could say here is, You guys were close and you got to understand her a bit since you got to be close for at least a while. And you know you guys had that bond so dont ever doubt she didnt see it as well. Even if the end was worse and you couldve done things better in retrospect. You know she cared and loved you and you were lucky enough to get even a little bittle of it.
dont cry over ur nan, cry over working at walmart <3 lol Hope you dont beat yourself up. Cause you honestly dont deserve it. You know she wouldnt want you sad. Just think of all the good and the chances you did have and take. Maybe just knowing and seeing it all for what it is can help maybe get something like that with your sis. But ehhh im shit at talking in threads. Just message me on discord or steam if you ever wanna talk even, no worries. Hope your day got better tho.

 

I am just a kid and I totally agree with what the 2 above me said but honestly the biggest piece of advice I try to live my life by: "Live life without regrets" I know it's hard sometimes but im sure your grandma wouldnt want you to beat yourself up over this. Take it in stride and live the rest of your life without regrets, take that job, talk to that person, buy that thing. Thats pretty much all I can give you except we all know the pain of losing a loved one and I feel for you <3 you can always message me too if you ever just wanna talk, I know we dont know each other too well but that doesnt matter

 

Thank you guys so much. I'm doing much better today and you guys def helped. Thank you <3

 

This might not be such a serious talk but I don't have anyone to talk to so here goes:

I'm not sure whether to drop my Calculus 2 class right now. I missed out on being able to take a decent proffessor so I'm taking with someone else who is very strict. I don't like how my current professor teaches and I realize I'm going to put more time to study than I have in any other class before. Every day I feel stressed about how bad I'm going to do the next quiz; he hands out quizzes every day and so far I've failed 2 out of 2 (technically 3 of 3) badly. His lectures don't cover much of the homework he assigns so I have to read the book and learn on my own which is really frustrating. On top of that he makes us watch lecture videos after his in class lectures which usually range from 25-50 minutes (longest video was two hours). Usually at least half the students drop his Calc 2 class so you really have to push yourself to earn the passing grade.

Honestly I haven't been giving it 100% from the start but currently lack the motivation and my mind is wanting to check out of that class already. It doesn't help that I'm going through a bit of depression phase because I have no idea what I'm doing in college and I don't know what I want to do with my life or what I'm doing with my life. I've been playing video games as a short term stress relief but now I can't even play without feeling stress on my chest, so I just turn my computer off and try to relieve myself with other things like YouTube, but even then it doesn't really help.

I was thinking maybe I could drop the class, start hitting the gym, apply for jobs and re-take the class next semester with a different professor when I feel like I'm ready. I know I could probably take a job while taking calculus but I feel like if I really want to pass, I'd have to slave away and devote a lot of time to the class that a job would take up time that I could use for studying (because the proffesor is very demanding).

I would probably feel bad about myself if I drop but it would be a HUGE weight off my chest. I just feel like I could possibly use this as an opportunity to get a job for once in my life, try to boost my self-esteem and self-worth, stop being so anti-social and leave my house to experience the outside world and hopefully meet some friends along the way.

What do you guys think? Any advice about my situtation? Thank you advance

 

Dropping a class once or twice isn't too much of an issue, as long as you don't make it into a routine. It's better to drop a class you know you're going to do poorly in than drag down your GPA.

You might feel bad about having to drop the course, but that's perfectly normal. People don't want to "quit". However, quitting is sometimes the best option. You've given understandable and valid reasons why you're contemplating dropping, and if you do decide to drop, you'll probably feel better about the decision once there's some distance.

As for no idea what to do in college, you might try getting in touch with your college's academic advisors. You could also look into exploratory studies-type programs that may be available, but the advisors would probably know more about that.

Just make sure to use the extra time wisely, if you do drop. Again, you don't want to get into the habit of dropping courses the minute they turn out to be different, but this situation seems to be much more than just a challenging class, so don't feel worried about that.

Hope this helps!

 

Honestly, this guy seems like a bad teacher to me.

It won't hurt you to drop the class, especially if you're just going to take it in the future. It'd be better to just take it in the future and not take the risk of failing rather than actually failing and having to take it again.