Do you wipe sitting down or standing up?

I do the Superman pose on the toilet, so I wipe while laying


Ezpz

 

just took a shit
sat down to wipe
wiped back to front, lifted my balls up if anyone wanted to know
folded the tissue

ez

 

Sit down.
Back to front.
Wadded it.
EZ

 

Sit down, lean to the side.
Front to back.
Folded like a gentleman.

(You realize you get the most surface area by folding right?)

 

Go to 2:49

 

@Agent A If you choose the wrong answer then it's going to be a shitty time for the both of us

 

And more surface area for your fingers so they dont get shit all over them

 

how the fuck do you wipe sitting down, do you put your hands between the legs?

 

Alright, I was at work for all these posts I made so lemme take a hot second and edumacate yall on why sitting, folding, and wiping front to back is the way to go

Position

First off, sitting.
This is a representation of your ass in the two positions:

Spoiler: Key

Half of the Bridge = an Ass Cheek
River = Buttcrack
Space below Bridge = Hole

Spoiler: Sitting

Spoiler: Standing

Now, as you can see, standing leaves much less access to the actual part of the ass you need to be wiping. Plus you'll need to reach behind you rather than from one side.
Sitting, you simply lean to the side opposite of your dominant hand, and slide your hand in with the folded toilet paper

Exception:
Half-way between sitting and standing is a-ok

Toilet Paper

Next, folding
Folding gives you optimal surface area for both the ass crack and your hand. The width of the toilet paper is just the right length to house all 4 fingers from harm. This also gives you more space to apply pressure and actually remove the shit
Plus, if there is residual shit on the outskirts, there is enough room with the to to protect your fingers from the sides and clean the sides simulations
With wadding it up into a ball - which is also wasteful because you'll likely use 5-6 piece of paper getting a ball big enough to protect your hand, rather than just 2-3 - your hand gets less surface area, and you can't apply the same pressure throughout
Your fingers are also left exposed on the sides, so forget having any shit bigger than your mom's dick.
This hand is going straight in the pooper

Spoiler

Exception:
When you get water in your ass, trying to wipe it off with folded TP will likely result in soggy fingers

Direction

As for direction, front-to-back is clearly superior
First of all, you're not bringing shit to your dick, which is a plus. Front-to-back just leads it to the end of the crack, or in most cases, just to the end of where you need to clean. You then drop it in the water.
Now there are 2 kinds of back to front. One is going from underneath the dick, which requires the dirty TP to get right up in your face when you go to drop it in the toilet. The only time I need to look at my TP is after I know I'm pretty much done
The other kind is pushing it from the back to the front, which will ultimately lead to tearing the TP and getting shit on your fingers

Exception:
None. Fuck you.

Permutations

So, there are 3 ways to position yourself (sitting, standing, halfway), 3 ways to fold the TP (ball, fold, wrap around hand), and 2 directions you can go (starting at front or back)
Since you can only choose one of each during a normal shit, and in that order, in a class of 18 students, each one of them can shit a different way.

​

 

before you wipe you gotta consider this :



over or under?

[covers ears and hides in bunker as another wave of debating erupts]

 

I mean your literally stereotyping every mexican.. I legit could stereotype every white person saying their either a bitch or bastard cuz there white. Even if you didn't mean to have it taken seriously, some people (maybe just me) take it seriously with all the fucked up shit going on right now with Trump.. Like you said, this thread was about shitting, not mexicans and having them deported for your reasons.

 

What the fuck LOL


1. I don't think you know what a stereotype is
2. Just cuz @tz- a bitch don't mean every white guy is smh
3. It was a joke bro everyone knows I don't support Trump or the deportation of literally every mexican
I was joking saying we should spend resources to deport people who shit a different way than I do, which should be pretty obvious is a joke, but apparently not

Go take a shit cuz you got somethin up your ass, hombre

 

Anyways, yea it don't really matter if you go from from or back the point is to not have shit on your ass at the end of it.

 

yo im half and i literally live in mexico i can say whatever the fuck i want about these dickheads bc i am one of them

 

meant to say wipe not shit lol