Do you wipe sitting down or standing up?

Allegedly, half of the people wipe their butts after pooping while they are still sitting down - the other half does it standing up. For the most part, neither half knows the other exists.

Please discuss how you are doing it and why you think it's superior to the other method.

I do it sitting down. I feel like the butt is more spread that way, you know? More area to wipe.

 

Sitting down anytime, how are you going to use a bidet standing up? Unless You like holding a hose inbetween your butcheecks but that is entirely up to you.

I respect either side.

 

I feel like that falls under "Other".

I, too, respect both sides. I've tried standing, but it just doesn't do it for me. I do respect people who do things standing. Standing is cool.

Also, another question: What toilets are you used to? When you poop, does the poop fall into the water or does it fall onto ceramic and just lie under you? The latter if better in case you want to check for blood or whatever.

Here's one of these scary German toilets.

 

Sitting down.
I don't see how this is relevant but okay.

 

if the cheeks touch before you wipe = bad

 

someone fix the thread title

 

What kind of sinful fuckhead wipes standing up?

The reason you sit to take a shit is because your cheeks spread a bit so there ain't so much friction between the brown rocket and your moon

If you stand up, your cheeks clentch up and you literally have to force your hand into your ass crack

Unless you're into that kinda stuff

 

A better question is, do you fold your toilet paper or crumble?

 

finally good discussion

 

People who crumble toilet paper are confirmed social outcasts

And if they stand while doing it, they must live in a mental institution

 

If you stand up and wipe your ass, then fuck you.

The real question you should ask is do you wipe to the front or to the back.

 

I can confirm

 

I thought it was to make sure that the poop actually falls into the toilet as opposed to...onto the seat.

Crumble? What? For wiping a second time? Why would you crumble??!

 

i dont wipe

 

Alright how the fuck would you position your hand to wipe back to front? Would you push from the back? Or would you go under the balls and pull forward?

This is pissing me off. Fuck mexicans, deport the people who stand up with their crumbled toilet paper and wipe back to front

 

Back to front is objectively wrong. If you're wiping back to front, you are wiping towards your balls instead of towards nothing.

 

Listen little nigga, what you do is, you reach past your dick and balls, and then position the toilet paper over the anus. You then begin to pull forward towards the grundle. You repeat this process until your asshole and grundle is completely clean.

 

uhm

 

Not as objectively wrong as wiping standing up