Sticky Serious talks.

aight so i been on this drug that basically make you think you an alien and also gives you aids for like a few days maybe a week maybe a year idk anymore at this time i live in a basement suite and i don't have natural sunlight to tell me when to wakeup so idk what day it is but im pretty sure it's been around a week of sleeping for maybe like an hour or two hours each night maybe one or the other idk so anyways i'm like high 24/7 and what you gotta realize is before i had aids i was simply just depressed and spending $100 a day on drugs and kinda sorta doing the same thing just without the dying part and i could function a lil better and now it's just the same but worse but constant and things are getting a little out of control here and so you see i was having sex with this lady and i was high and the first time wasn't so good i'm not gonna lie i'm not gonna sugar coat things, it was awful, but then she keeps coming back and she's a real cute lady so idk what she's doing sticking around me and it made me think of why any ladies hangout with me ever cause i know out of my friends im probably the least hot one but beautiful women keep throwing themselves at me and idk why that is but i think maybe it has something to do with like the suicidal drug addict depressed artist thing i got going on and so everyone wants a piece of me and i aint like a real confident guy y'know, or well it's not that it's just that i don't really even like sex that much and i don't like people really either i just like to get high and draw naked ladies but the big issue right now is that i'm in love for the first time since i was 15 and i am a 22 year old man now and this is a weird thing to experience in this psychosis i've been talking about

so i tell this girl i got real big feelings for her during my psychosis and we've been roommates and real close friends for like a year now and i've had a thing for her that whole time until we got different homes and that was like 4 months ago i think, she's usually single but then she got a boyfriend who turns out to be this dude i know who is kinda obnoxious and i slapped him in the face at a house party cause he's got a weird rapey vibe about him (creep) and i haven't seen him since but apparently it kinda messed him up and he's real insecure but he's got a huge dick cause he always tells people it's huge and my dick aint huge like im pretty happy with what i got but what i got isn't some kinda monster and i'm just worried about like maybe i'm gonna dissapoint her y'know cause when i told her i had a crush on her she broke up with him and we're supposed to hangout tomorrow and i'm real nervous about that cause like i can be high off my tits throwing my dick around left and right like it's whatever and i don't care but i actually like this person which is rare for me except for that other time that i came on here and said something similar about someone but she broke up with me to date my friend's coke dealer who only got one ball so idk really what to think of that but i'm over it

it's like i don't even like sex really but people keep trying to fuck me so i can like have the option to continue doing what i'm doing which is like have meaningless sex with people who i assume fetishize my artistic capabilities or i could be in what could potentially be a really long relationship with someone i actually like but the problem there is that what if the sex doesn't work out cause i never start things without starting from sex so i'm like wait a minute here what if this is weird and what if this whole time i'm actually not good at sex ?

can anyone help me here?

 

Well first of all, you might wanna stop taking drugs that make u high and feel weird. That will help you feel less insane and messed up. And if you don't feel comfortable having sex with women, then just tell them that you don't want to have sex with them. And if u ever wanna impress a woman, just simply be yourself, don't take it overboard and take your time. Friendships and even relationships go slowly as time goes by and I've learned that myself. I've screwed up on friendships because I don't let them take their course and I rush things too much. But in the end, we all learn a life lesson here right? I wish u luck man!

 

The main problem in this situation is the drugs. I believe for you to really get a grasp back on your life, you need to overcome your addiction. Many addicts that have now become sober say that they get their strength in numbers. I reccommend that you get a support group and work with them to sober up.

As far as the problem with women, if you don't want to have sex, dont let them force it on you. If you do, then accept it. It should be a mutual agreement between both/multiple parties.

I wish you the best of luck. If you want to talk further, let me know.

 

We all don't have the same insecurities, and we can offer advice in the places that we aren't secure in. If you were specifically talking to me, I don't think I'm directly helping anyone, I just hope to guide anyone I can in the right direction.

 

No, see it helps knowing there is someone else that is having the same problem.
Having someone talk to you, really just talk to you and listen helps.
But it helps more when they know, when they really know what you're going through.
And what noodle said not all of us have the same insecurities.
Please don't assume that we do.

 

didn't mean to insue drama from my post, so I'll keep it short.
what I said wasn't directed at noodle, but to the people who haven't thought thouroughly about how much their advice might affect the person looking for help.
I phrased it in a crude manner, woops.
so, I aplogize for what I said and how I said it.
can we be friends now? <3

 

Yes. <3

 

it all fine and everything i described worked out in the most perfect way and i'm out of drugs and sober and it all good and well thx bye

 

Yeeeaaaahhhhh....

I have no idea how you're going to have other people help you when you don't even try to help yourself. What have you done to rid yourself of addiction?

Honestly don't know why girls throw yourself a you either. I'm sure they're all accomplished women who have their life in order

Good luck trying to balance depression, drugs, love, sex, art, relationships, and STDs

I love you man. I want that old Dog from 2-3 years ago. I just dunno what to say anymore, so I gotta be real with you. Sorry if I seem upset with you, it just hurts to see how much you've changed for the worse in these few years

<3

 

I'm open to anyone who needs help!

 

*Memes aside, I'm not depressed. I have a caring family and a few close friends, alongside Anime, Memes, and my love for nature to keep me happy.
In all seriousness here, how do I deal with social anxiety?
Since I was 13, we have been moving around very often, and I've only been around a school for a maximum for 1.5 years. Despite that, I didn't have trouble making friends at first. Initially, I didn't make close friends at all. They'd just wave at me in passing period and maybe a couple of hi's here and there. But in the 9th grade of high school, I actually made very close friends that I still talk to on a daily basis. They were very welcoming and are fun to be around. This was the first time I had friends over, and started to hangout with friends outside of school. So, after we moved again, I tried my best to create a friend-circle that would be genuinely fun to be around. Now that was all great in concept, but the real shit started here. I had this one friend that I thought was close. We'd play League from time to time (although League turned out to be a shit show to play with tilted friends) and it's say it was decently funny because he'd always show me dank/suicide memes and we'd laugh at them together. That was the gist of that friendship: it revolved around memes that we'd share in-class. So when we moved on to senior year of high school, I thought it'd be fine to continue hanging out with them because "we were cool". That turned out to not be the case, and he'd just brushed me off many times, which was when I picked up that he doesn't want me to be around when he was with his other close friends. I thought this was fair at first because he had been with them for a very long time. But after several of these (shortening a bit here), there came one specific instance where he called me a simple "acquaintance" to his older friends when we'd met. This was when I actually realized that he doesn't want me to be around him at all. At the same time, I think I developed social anxiety. I started questioning my worth to people and would always consider it when it came to conversations and topics. Now to be fair, I think my resting personality is a bit douchey/ jerky so I don't blame anyone involved at all. Recently, I started increasingly paying attention to what was my worth at the time. I started particularly paying attention to what I think are hints to fuck off so I don't end being at the same position as before. This might have been good for me at start, but now I get very sad whenever I talk to anyone outside of my close friend group just by the slightest things that happen. Even more so than before, I started avoiding conversing with anyone outside of that, and spending more time alone. Alongside that, I noticed that I've began to resent many things(mostly around talking to people online) that I previously enjoyed very much.

 

AHAHAH no im okay trust me. Or at least the most I've been okay in 2 years which is pretty crazy. Things just got super crazy a couple years ago and even tho I always had issues with addiction and anxiety and depression and paranoia and everything things just got real bad and kinda good 2 years ago, then year bad a year ago when my girlfriend of 4 years left me.

Right now I just kinda went through the same thing I went through 2 years ago, but came out of it by sobering up and realizing a lot of things and feelings and acting on them. Me and someone who I've been on and off in love with, roommate for a long time and like best friend for a long time just kinda confessed our love for eachother and left our partners and our together now. Sex was all good and perfect and everything was natural, haven't been doing drugs and just eating healthy and barely drinking, aids like symptoms from drug abuse cleared up and I feel extremely healthy and fine. Realizing what love actually is and how that feels for the first time really since the girl I dated for 4 years and still love and care for and am very close to and always will be. Know that obviously there's a good chance things r gonna get messed up with this relationship, maybe even not somehow, but I don't really care much either way cause I just love myself most of all and y'know I know things r always going to be rocky and up and down, that's just life but I always pull through and I feel fine now in this moment. Just working on myself and doing a ton of art.

Obviously the things I say on here always seem pretty insane and sketchy and worrisome, but that's just how I talk/joke about things. I like to just word things in ways that really outline the absurdity of everything. As for how I used to be compared to now... Honestly things were a lot worse then in a lot of ways. Anxiety in specific and general health is something that was absolutely horrible and ruining my life, the relationship I was in was super unhealthy in a lot of ways and I found myself controlling and manipulative cause I was too afraid of them leaving me and me being alone, but I'd just end up being mad at her and depressed and ignore her and play video games and watch TV. Already talked about this quite a bit on here but I'm pretty sure I deleted it in one of those moments where I just come by and delete things and act out negatively. Like I said that's just kinda how I am. I haven't really had issues with anxiety for months now as I did a lot of extensive work on that. Mostly drug abuse seems to come from a general feeling of apathy towards my life from lack of purpose, but I just gotta apply myself to hobbies and things, which I've been doing with art and music and writing, looking for work and trying to find a new place, etc etc.

Things are good tho and I get that nobody is gonna believe that but w/e it's ok. <3

 

I hope so man. Ily, take care

 

I can't even handle my life anymore. That's all I can say. I feel like when I get help, I don't really get help. Like so many problems and things are going on in my life today and I cry by just thinking about it. And I always wanna be silent and alone usually and when I play ttt, I just wanna be silent and not talk to anybody. Someone help me pls. So many faults are going through to me and I can't take it anymore.

http://whisper.sh/whisper/050f92c4e...xed-all-of-my-emotions-up-for-months-and-I-c#

 

Since I have no idea what your problems are at all, I'd say the first thing you should do is disassociate yourself from the "dramatic sadness" that movies or other entertainment has given you. You should realize that your sadness actually stems from physical problems in your life and are tangible things you can fix to overcome that sadness. Trying to connect yourself to hopelessness will just give you an umbrella so you can feel even more helpless and feel depressed even though you're not. You should first try solving whatever easily tangible problems you have (ie: you have many exams coming so you are very stressed, so try to study). I believe the second would be to think your emotions as simple shapes colors: if there's too much brown in your mix, your colors become dull. But, you can solve this by adding more yellow, or bright red. Just try whatever you like and don't think about the problems, but solutions when you try them. The more you think you're in the hole, the further down you'll go.

Spoiler: shit advice

If you really need to associate yourself to things on the internet, try reddit; this sub specifically gives ironic jokes so you can laugh at misery and how stupid they are. Although, don't do that if you're actually depressed, then the memes would get too relate-able and you'll feel worse.

Good luck.

 

I try helping you and I try and so many people have tried probably not here but the fact you tried to make me pity you into helping you when I said I could not anymore then you deleted me on steam? Look I'm not trying to start anything but I suggest that you take all the things you have and be happy like you have a family, you have food, water, shelter and people try caring for you. Those things I see everything as luck hell, even a job I have and people helping me. We aren't perfect and it is OK if you make mistakes we live, learn, forgive, respect

Sorry if I sound rude and this comment may get backlash so I apologize in advance.

 

Life sucks man.
But hey I'm getting through it, if anyone was wondering how I'm doing.
I have panic attacks every night still, but they're getting better.
I'm no longer suicidal, and that's big.
So overall I'm good, and I am definitely willing to talk to anyone who needs it.

 

"You've gotta focus on what's real."

I'm unaware of any of your problems, but if any of them are created by your mind, by creating false truth or thoughts, get rid of them. Focus on the physical problems and manage them with others. Don't let drama and bullshit others are saying get to your head.

I've offered my help plenty of times, and I will continue to because I care. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here.

 

Here's a song that kinda embraces and expresses how I feel every day pretty much. Pls don't judge me and if u have anything bad to say, just don't say it. I just wanted to share this.

 

I always watch this when I'm suicidal, the best motivation ever.

Spoiler