Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor's office? A: It was feeling crummy. (Because I like cookies....And now i'm hungry)
Did you know that 6 out of 5 hackers can defy the laws of statistics. Did you know that 7 out of 10 fully grown trees never grew when they were young. Did you know that 7 out of 10 paper back notebooks are made 100 percent out of metal. Did you know that 7 out of 10 roads don't lead anywhere.
A wife send her husband an sms on a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen". The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them". Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "The computer is completely fucked now".
So 3 guys go on a hunting trip, Dumb, Stupid, and Idiot. On the first day Dumb goes out and gets a monster buck. They ask him how he got it and he says "Me see tracks, me follow tracks. I see deer, I shoot deer". The next day Stupid goes out and also gets a deer. They ask him how he got it. He says "Me see tracks, Me follow tracks. I see deer, I shoot deer." On the final day Idiot goes out but comes back all bloody and bruised up. They ask him how he got so hurt and replies "Me see tracks, Me follow tracks. I see train, I shoot train. Train don't stop."
A teacher is teaching her young group of kids, when she asks them "There are 3 crows on a fence, a hunter shoots down one crow. How many crows are left?" A kid replies "there would be 0 crows left miss" Onwhich the teacher looked up and asked the kid how he got that strange number. "Well miss, the other crows would certainly fly away from the gunshot" And the teacher replied, the correct answer would be 2, but I like the way you think! 'Miss', the young kid replied 'If there are 3 woman on a bench in the park, One of them is sucking on a popstickle, the other one is licking it, and the last one is putting it all in her mouth at once.... Which one is married?' The teacher stuttered and got pretty red while she answered .. "Well.. ehh.. The one who sucks on the popstickle I guess?" And the boy replied "The one with the wedding ring of course,.. But I like the way you think!"
A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "No, all days are 24 hours long" the man replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is.
